This is something I wrote as I was climbing into bed the other night. I am not sure what prompted it at the time, only that the emotion expressed captured a sliver of what it means to me to be human.
It’s a story that explores the space which exists in our lives where time does not. The strange twilight after sunset where everything in the whole world seems to be resting on your shoulders. Where the mistakes of the past, and the promise of a future are both highlighted in stark contrast to each other, illuminated only by our own imaginations, and the life we breathe into them.
Sometimes it is a story of fear, anxiety which keeps us from falling asleep. Sometimes it is a story of inspiration, when we manage to solve all the world’s problems, only to wake up with no memory of the solutions we dreamed up only hours before.
Sometimes it is a story of sadness, sorrow, and pain, as we struggle to come to terms with the reality that surrounds us, and the demons we create. And still, on occasion, it is the story of excitement and anticipation, as we eagerly await the first rays of dawn, and the promises that come with sunrise.
Night falls.
Do you even hear what I am saying?
Am I just thinking
out loud
to myself?
Headlights flash
through the widow.
The sound of tires on wet pavement.
The car moves on.
My thoughts go with it.
Lost in a memory
words
left unspoken.
Broken
rejected
defied.
Defined by the emptiness
Within my own mind.
What is the point of speaking
if I can’t remember the words
I have already spoken.
Is it living
or dying
or madness?
Caught in the chaos
which exists between crazy.
And insanity.
The ride keeps spinning
long after we are through.
There’s no way off
except to wait until it has finished.
When it is over
It only takes a minute.
Before we are back in line.
begging to ride again. . .
It’s dark out now.
The headlights fade into the distance.
An illusion.
Lost in the sounds of the world.
Hiding
just outside the bedroom window.
Can you hear the thoughts my words aren’t saying?
Can you feel the things my mind can’t reach?
Caught on the tip of my tongue.
Forgotten.
Before they ever had a chance to be remembered.
Lost between tomorrow and yesterday.
Like the passing of a dream
in the veil of last night.
–
Feel free to comment your thoughts below.
E. Sandborn 